#37 Physical Trait

A physical trait that I would of killed to change in junior high. Picking one was very difficult for me. When I chose to write about this topic, my mind was racing, with the things that I used to be very insecure about. How my body is shaped, how I talk, how my teeth were crooked, how my nose is predominantly larger than most, and how I have two moles in the center of my forehead. I could go on, but I narrowed my options down to my height. I am 5’6, I grew to this height in 7th grade. A 5’6, 7th grader girl might as well be 6’2 to everyone else. I was as tall or taller than some of my teachers. Automatic insecurity and I could see my 12 year old self fighting someone to the death just so I could be 5’3. To top off my “abnormally” tall height. I am a toe walker. I always hear the story about how when I was a baby I always watched my older brother walk, run, and jump all over the house. At 9 months I was sick of it, and started walking.I don’t know why my parents didn’t stop it but I walk on my toes. Always have, and it’s a habit that I cannot seem to break. I swear it is embedded in my DNA. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m still 12 when people point it out, but I never realized that I am doing it, and when I casually throw it out in conversation, and the person I am talking too is like yes I always noticed. That always made me more insecure because I never noticed it but it meant that other people were always noticing it. If you add into account that I walk on my toes, I’d say that makes me a solid 5’8 walking normally. Which made me feel self conscious all the time. For some reason everyone and their mama loves to always point out height. It’s always been one of the first things people have said to me. Over the years it hasn’t bothered me anymore, and I’ve grown up because of it. To say I have no insecurities would be me lying through this screen but I have accepted that they are who I am just like how I have brown eyes. It’s things you can’t change and its okay to love those parts of yourself. It is okay if you walk on your toes, even though you might look 12, you are still you, and that’s a lesson that I have had to learn.  And it all started with me hating how tall I was in the 7th grade.